August 19, 2015

Crisis of Faith

Its been a long time since I have done anything active in my birth work. I'm feeling really stuck. I'm stuck in my head. Even though I haven't physically done much, my next birth has almost always been on my mind.

I took a gamble a while back and asked some questions in a pregnancy forum, and got some push back. It really seemed to shut me down. I didn't feel supported, in a place that was supposed to be safe for asking questions. I was really hurt and angry. I've been pretty much shut down ever since.

The truth is, I don't know what I'm doing. Every time I try to seek something out in the way of information, I end up feeling less prepared instead of more. Every birth announcement that hits my Facebook feed fills me with anger instead of joy. I don't know where to go for help, because when I reach out to the world, the world is too busy.

I see so many obstacles. I need a hand...